Stats

When not focusing on the important and shocking fact that it's snowing outside, the news has recently been harping on about someone failing to blow up a plane. Hysteria has resulted and people are actually cancelling flights over this - despite it being 20 times more likely you'll be struck by lightning, than be a victim of a terrorist plane-bombing (per flight).

Another comparison drawn by that link (go on, click, there's a really pretty picture) is that there's one attack per 11.5 billion miles - which is the same distance as two round trips to Neptune. Which pretty much rules out any hope of gaining public confidence up for interstellar space travel. If you didn't like that joke, you'll hate this one:

"The odds of being on a plane with a bomb on it are 1/10,000,000. The odds of being on a plane with two bombs on it are 1/1,000,000,000. So I always take a bomb on a plane with me"

Wii Prayer

A family shouldn't have to wait until Sunday to worship the Lord...especially if they have a Nintendo Wii, complete with special Cross controllers and a Kneeler (all the fun of kneeling and genuflecting...in your own home!).

Yes, seriously, someone's making a game of this. Well, I think so anyway - if it's a spoof/hoax then it's being pretty thoroughly carried out.



If the minigames are good enough, I'll almost certainly be buying a copy of this. After all, WarioWare barely has any storyline at all and that's still one of the most popular Wii games..

Ryanair

I just got back from a long weekend in Italy (and I'll gloat about how wonderful it was in a post replete with pictures shortly), bookended by flights from The Low Fares Airline.

Somehow (and not just thanks to the Microsoft expenses account) I've always avoided Ryanair in the past. Apparently their foibles are well known but, despite recent claims that they were considering charging for toilet access or planning a super-budget model, whereby passengers stand for the journey I still didn't quite appreciate what an experience it would be.

Boarding was fun, with a priority aisle available for anyone who paid for it, or the very old & very young. I thought this a lovely idea, until it actually came to boarding and we found that the priority passengers simply got to stand around on some stairs for an extra 10 minutes whilst everyone else waited by the gate. After that it was all equality...everyone got to stand around in a stairwell. Why on earth don't they just assign seats? It can't cost any more (not even printer ink, given that everyone has to pay £5 to check in online).

Onboard there was some beautiful classical music playing as we walked on (I later found this same 18 second file plays at the start of every flight, it's not an indication of their cultural aspirations). A soothing pre-recorded Irish voice talked us through everything and we were away with no extra charges..

..but the voice continued, offering us scratchcards, hot food, cold food, perfumes, gifts - there's less advertising in American TV than on a Ryanair flight. The voice was occasionally interrupted for a J20 advert (which could naturally be bought on board). The flight attendants spent much more time trying to sell stuff than...anything really.

It's not all negative - there was a little fanfare as the plane landed which prompted cheering from the passengers, and Ryanair are now giving away a million free seats (actually they're £4.99 and don't include taxes) after their recent tiff with the BBC.

I still wouldn't recommend it though.

Xx

Pink Dolphin

In a beautiful combination of two dubiously moral fields; marketing and genetics - a cheap headline and profiteering event to warm the coldest corporate heart:

Pink Dolphin Spotted In US Lake
_{From The Telegraph}

Enjoy.
Xx

The Epic Explosion and the Idiot Scientist

In exciting (yet, questionably relevant, other than to theoretical physicists) old news;

Explosion from 7.5billion light years away could be seen with the naked eye

- worth a read. However, notice how I'm intelligent enough to say 'old news', because the explosion was 7.5billion light years away. That means, if we can see it now, it happened 7.5billion years ago. So, it's rather ridiculous that a 'scientist' on the project should claim:

"The passing of Arthur C. Clarke seems to have set the universe ablaze with gamma ray bursts"

I'm so, so annoyed that I might have to go and punch the scientist concerned (Judith Racusin of Penn State University, if you're in the area).

Tic-Tac Makes it up to Football Fans

Many people on the Internet (and presumably in the so-called 'real world') seemed rather annoyed when ITV decided to broadcast a Tic-Tac advert rather than the thrilling last 20 seconds of the Liverpool vs Everton FA Cup game. There were calls for ITV to be banned from showing football, angry Facebook groups and even the odd 'flashmob' against ITV.

I wasn't, however, aware that anyone was blaming Tic-Tac. But, just in case (and also because marketing folks need salaries to keep the economy going), they made a video by way of apology:



Brilliant ;)

Hallelujah

When I heard that the winner of this year's X-Factor was to release Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah', I was mildly annoyed. Mostly because they'd picked the song before they even knew who was going to be singing it - not a great recipe for a good piece of music. Then, I promptly forgot about it.

Clearly I wasn't as annoyed as the creator of this Facebook group persuading people to buy Jeff Buckley's beautiful recording of the song, and hoping to get it to Christmas #1 ahead of the X-Factor winner's version.

Impressively, they've gotten onto Radio 1, and into a lot of online media (and to cap it all, they're now on my blog). Jeff's version is currently at #3 in the midweek charts and, although it has no chance of getting to #1, it'll still be amusing to hear it played alongside the inevitably worse X-Factor version on the radio chart shows. Not that I've actually listened to radio for about 3 years, but you get the idea.

Most amusing of all however, is the comments section of the Daily Mail's hilarious report on this 'news'. Now, Daily Mail readers aren't the most intellectual of stereotypes, and indeed the opening line of the article rather sets the tone:

"Anti-X Factor campaigners are trying to sabotage Alexandra Burke's chances of taking the coveted Christmas number one spot by downloading an alternative version of her winner's song.".

Or, as someone back at the Facebook group translated it:

"Pro-immigration eco-terrorist anti-capitalist Maddie-hoarding haters of Great Britain have launched a Nazi-esque attack on the poor defenceless winner of patriotic family-orientated show, the X Factor.".

I'll leave you to read the rest of the comments hilarity. You could even go and digitally download the Jeff Buckley version too if you have 79p to spare and aren't a fan of reality TV. Me? I really just don't care enough.

MTV African Music Awards

I really can't do much better with this one than to just copy/paste and highlight:

From: MTV holds its first African music awards - Associated Press

Two Nigerian singers won top awards Saturday as MTV held its first-ever music award program for Africa, with acts from across the world's poorest continent being nominated for prizes.

Winners were selected by fans sending text messages, said Alison Reid, a spokeswoman for MTV Networks Africa.

And yet, after all that, it's still more credible than Eurovision.

I love mass production

Take a look at this video from the BBC:

Inside a frozen pizza factory

When I first saw the link I was expecting some Panorama style hidden camera tour of immigrants working in amazingly unhygienic conditions - as with the ready meals for supermarkets a while ago. Instead, we're at the other end of the spectrum of journalistic integrity, with a straight-up presentation from a product development manager for the factory.

I prefer fresh food, though I'll happily eat frozen stuff like this. What I really love though, is seeing these mass-production factories in operation. There's something incredible about the precision and efficiency and ingenuity that's gone into every tiny part of the system...I almost wish I'd taken up engineering rather than compsci.

When I worked there, I was always really impressed by the level of detail that went into the efficiency of processes in a McDonald's restaurant. I still am, to some degree, but it's all too often ruined by the human element - which leads me to wonder why on earth such establishments are not more automated. The quality would be better, the waiting times lower and the food safer.

Plus, it'd kill off a bunch of low paying jobs and ensure that graduates weren't just ending up on the dole. Seems to be win-win for the economy. Get to work folks.

Depressing

A while back, ZDNet reported that:

"IT graduates have the highest unemployment rate across all degree subjects at almost double the average for students leaving UK university courses...IT graduates have higher unemployment rates than students in performing arts (6.6 percent), media studies (8.6 percent), history (6.8 percent) and art and design (10.2 percent)."

Today, I'm guessing that Icelandic Studies and Finance graduates are probably a bit worse off, but it's still rather difficult to find a job.

So, who's up for a PhD then? :)

Omega Sektor Closes

CompSoc's first gaming trip of the year was a tour of Omega Sektor, followed by 10 hours of gaming. About 30 members showed up and everyone had a great time - clearly the long hours I put into getting sponsorship for CompSoc were definitely a good investment of my time.

...the next day, Omega Sektor closed their doors and declared that they were in administration (leaving behind a large pile of Kit-Kats in the internet cafe area).

Apparently giving free LAN parties to large groups of students isn't a good business model eh? One to remember kids.

Now, what do I do with a hundred CompSoc t-shirts with the Omega Sektor logo nicely plastered onto them? Ideas?

Obamashot

The conscientious folks over at Twitter decided to set up a special area of their site, Election 2008, to gather up-to-the-second opinions on the American election - including some big debate that's apparently going on tonight between all the major candidates.

The conscientious folks over at The Internet decided to take that area of the site, and use it to talk about the things they find most important about the American presidential election.

As such, the hottest topics on Election 2008 right now are...election drinking games.

Obamashot
Drink one shot every time Barrack Obama says the word 'change'.

McCainshot
Drink one shot every time John McCain says the word 'my friends'.

It's going to be a messy night in many, many American households. I bet the electoral debate will have record viewing figures amongst students though.

Sexism == success

From BBC News:

Men with sexist views 'earn more'

Interesting, eh? Almost as interesting as the fact that three separate people have linked me to this page. Am I really that successful?

Awesome animals

I recently stumbled across a little article on MSN Environment about some very cute, and some very bizarre animals. Had to share.

The Leafy Sea Dragon



Any animal with the suffix 'dragon' is immediately cool, but this one looks like it came out of a computer game. I was, however, disappointed to find that the male of the species is the one that looks after the kids. I bet they don't even breathe fire.

The Star Nosed Mole


A cross between a mole and a sea-monster. Awesome. More here.

The best (worst) sign I've seen in a while

Strolling aimlessly around Reading this weekend I stumbled across the entrance to Thames Water's offices, where I found the following in a fairly prominent position next to the car park:



It's little wonder that I was reading in today's Metro about their hilarious inability to manage bills eh?

Still though, not quite as good as the demand for £90,000,000 that Npower recently sent to a residential customer.

Google Zurich

From TheCoolHunter (via Dean):

Google Zurich - Anything but neutral
_{Google hire some 'inventive' designers to re-work their Zurich offices. The designers come up with some of the most amazing stuff I've ever seen.}

How unbelievably hot is that? Not a single row of cubicles in sight, nor corporate logos and colours splashed around the place. I'm not entirely sure whether it'd work for everyday jobs - I can't imagine going through the tedium of checking my emails when surrounded by such stuff - I'd probably go and try to invent something instead.



At Microsoft, if I want to be alone with my thoughts, I find the best places either to be a walk around the (lovely) lake, or to jump into a 'syndicate room' - a small box room with an oversized table, no windows, a whiteboard and moderately comfortable chairs. Doesn't quite beat that bathtub does it? ;)

I'm particularly impressed by two facts in this story (as well as the awesome pictures). The first is that the design team were led entirely by the staff who would be using the offices - they were never even given a brief. That's a superb methodology, not just for office design, but for pretty much every problem I can think of, and it says a lot about the Google culture.

Secondly, the whole thing came in at around the same budget as a normal re-fit! Amazing.

Rise of the Machines

or; CYBORGS TO COMPETE WITH HUMANS IN THE OLYMPICS!!, as The Sun might choose to headline it.

Over on Engadget I recently found that Oscar Pistorius is free to have a shot at Olympic qualification, despite being a double amputee with springs instead of feet.


_{The fact that the prosthetics are called 'Cheetahs' (note the double entendre) didn't tip the judges off}

Surely it's not long now before prosthetics improves enough that able bodied athletes will volunteer for the surgery to boost their times and get a Gold medal, before forming SkyNet Industries and achieving world domination.

Interestingly, I found this through the adverts feed at the top of my Google Mail inbox, which was presumably trying to find something to relate to my latest email about Jaco Pastorius. Gotta love random luck.

Surface is in the real world

From Gizmodo:

Multi-grope: Interacting with Microsoft Surface at the AT&T Store

We've not got any in the UK yet, but the Microsoft Surface (<-- click this, leet site) has suddenly appeared in 5 mobile phone shops in the US yet. I'm almost tempted to go out there just so I can play with one.

Quickie

Lazy French scum back to work. Leaving 5.30am tomorrow. Text me if you want anything bought. Cider, dinner cooked for me and washing up done. Hebs has an awesome trilby. I want a trilby. See you next week.

Primogeniture? Sexism more like

I recall venturing, at the tender age of 16 or so, the opinion that it wouldn't be long before the 'bloody feminists' ruled the world with an iron fist, and even something as sacred as the right of the first born son to inherit royal position would be under threat. I doubt I was as prosaic at the time, but I was certainly right.

It seems MP Lynne Featherstone is bringing this to the Equality Commission, rather than, y'know, bothering with her constituents. Some of the comments on her blog are rather hilarious. To be honest, I don't really envy Lynne her blog since she got tagged and shamed in the Devil's Kitchen.

I can't put things any better than the good old Devil did, so I won't try. Go read his post :) One final note though - how the hell did Hornsey and Wood Green manage to elect some hippy feminist as their MP. Were they all on drugs at polling time?