I Hate America

Lots of people make this claim, but mostly they're just basing it on some trivial little thing, like wars, foreign policy or unbounded capitalism. They probably don't even care too much - I mean, look at this chap:



He just forgot to bring his jacket along for a day of standing on the street corner, and wanted a bit of warmth. Then the media got involved and suddenly he had to start pretending he had some problem with the USA. Then you've got these fellows:



This was originally reported as an 'anti-America rally', but if you look closely, you'll notice that the guy in the foreground is actually making a 'scissors' motion. He's about to stage the grand opening of a much needed Gilette shop.

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Back to the topic I, on the other hand, have a perfectly valid and, quite honestly, shocking reason to hate the Americans. I took the novel approach of 'walking' (walking, noun: the act of travelling by foot - I got that definition from an online, American dictionary. They'd spelt 'travelling' wrong) from place to place in Seattle.

I soon noticed, as I 'walked' about the place, that they were big fans of traffic crossings. Well, you'd have to be really when it's impossible to walk more than 50 metres or so in any direction without encountering a road. Such big fans, in fact, that they had three different variations on images for the 'stop' and 'go' paradigm, which as far as I can discern, all meant exactly the same thing.

One of these types was the familiar 'red hand' and 'white man':


_{Colour's a bit off in this pic, you'll have to trust me that the man at the bottom is really 'white'}

This is quite an interesting picture if you actually analyse it a bit. You'll notice the hand is designed very clearly to convey a message of 'stop'. You may think the colour red is designed to do the same, but if you think carefully, you'll realise that what Americans really associate the colour red with is...communism. So, the top of this sign is really saying "STOP COMMUNISM" every time you cross the road.

I hardly think I need to point out the implications of 'progress for the white man' to anyone with a brain either. Shameless subliminal messaging from the American government there.

That's not why I hate America though.

The reason I hate America, is another type of pedestrian crossing sign you'll see over there:


_Bastards.

Yes, the infamous "Don't Walk" sign. Or, actually, if you take a good look at it, the "Dont Walk" sign. What the hell is a Dont? Every single day, every single American (well, those that go outside...so probably more like 50%) is being exposed to a horrific violation of the English language - it's little wonder that in a word association survey 'stupid' recently came pretty high when people were asked to associate something with 'American'. British people, that is, obviously - not American ones. Can't find the source for that survey at the moment, I believe it was on BBC News, let me know if you have a link.

Finally, two more pictures of something from my little Paris trip that never made it up:



Something that classy makes it hard to hate France, doesn't it? I still manage that feat though, fortunately for all.