Yum

I indulged a deliciously thrifty impulse recently and acquired, for a mere £1.99^*, the following:



For the uninitiated, the above represents 1.3kg of 'broken' biscuits. These are snacks that for one reason or another, failed to meet the strict quality control guidelines at their respective factories - Fox's, McVities and Burtons amongst them.

"But Ina," you cry, "when you can afford such beautiful clothes and hair, why do you feel the need to buy incomplete, tatty and frankly shoddy biscuits such as the above?". You fool.

You see, it's not just the aesthetic quality that is lacking from these biscuits - indeed, the 'broken' aspect is often a direct result of the way in which these rejects are treated en-route to the store, rather than of the manufacturing process that failed them. The reason I buy such delights is that hidden amongst the usual rejects and misfits are types of biscuits one wouldst otherwise never find.

For example, when the entire staff turns up to work one dismal day, and in a crapulous^** fit of temper swings the caramel and white chocolate machines against one another, right above the cookie machine...well, I'm the one who gets to enjoy the results. You'll never see them in a packaged product from their home factory. They're all mine.

The best I've had from this box so far, by the way, are Nice biscuits glued together with icing, like a custard cream, and white chocolate digestives with raisins in them. Leet or what?

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<sub>* Checking my change later on, I'm not even sure I was charged this measly sum.

** Two months of trying to fit 'crapulous' into a post naturally, and then I manage to get both meanings in with one fell swoop. Feel free to send money & underwear (girls only) to the usual address.</sub>