I need a robot

I cannot cope with real life. Seriously, I can't.

I've tried ironing clothes twice - I failed once and I set fire to my shirt (albeit, only a minor flame) the other time.

I've tried washing clothes countless times, and now have a resplendent collection of tops, trousers, towels and underwear - all in varying shades of pink.

Dish washing I can just about cope with, thanks to my hardy upbringing. But, remember those TV shows where they highlight all the dirt in a kitchen with a UV light? If I were left in charge of the washing up for a week the place would look like the aftermath of a rave.

And now, eating.

Being left to my own devices in Cardiff, I'm now having extreme difficulties in remembering to eat. When it gets to about 7pm, and I realise that I haven't yet eaten anything, I wander into the kitchen - generally with a book in my hand. When it gets to about 8pm, and I realise that I haven't yet eaten anything, I wander into the kitchen - generally with a book in my hand. When it gets to...you get the point.

Presenting:


_Roomba!

This innocuous little robot is a 'roomba', and has the pretty dull task of hoovering your floors, automatically, both how and when you tell it. It's not just a gimmick, and does do a pretty good job - but I sense you're wondering how it's going to solve all of my problems, rather than just my inability to hoover. No? Well, tough, I'll tell you anyway.

Actually, while I have a think, here's a picture of a cat standing next to a roomba that probably barely works now that it's been decorated so:


_{Add caption here}

So anyway, these little circles of joy, can be programmed. Programmed to do, pretty much anything you want. Anything you want. I'm going to put some attachments on mine, and get it to bring me beer and stuff. I'll get in domain experts (aka, women) to help me program it for the other household tasks, and I'll also use it to commit minor acts of larceny...

..just as soon as I get one. And all the add-ons. And the API for programming it. And a lot of spare time. Actually, screw it - I'll just surround myself with more women ^^

Finally (because it's bad form to end a post with sexism), a word of warning:


_{Sherlock Holmes and the Roomba}