Sunday 10 August 2008

I Hate Mozart

"That seems a reasonable statement", you say, "please Ina, elaborate, through the medium of a 5-point list.". Well, OK:

1. The Mozart Effect
The 'Mozart Effect', is an idiotic theory that listening to Mozart makes you 'smarter' (their choice of word). This is closely related to a similar misapprehension that listening to Mozart makes you look smarter. Wrong.

Listening to Mozart makes you a pretentious idiot. Opera Seria is probably the worst school of classical music there is. If I hear another of his fey little minuets I'll kick someone.

Back to the list..

2. Credit hog
Mozart is often given inordinate amounts of praise for the fact that he was composing at the precocious age of five. Screw Mozart. How about Camille Saint-Saëns? He had perfect pitch at the age of 2, was composing at age 4 and gave a full recital at age 5.

Also, whilst I'm on the subject. Mozart may have composed pieces at age 5...but they're crap. Absolute crap.

3. Copyright theft

Mozart Books

4. He's Austrian
Some other famous Austrians:

Josef Fritzl, the man who ruined the phrase "lock up your daughters".

Dietrich Mateschitz, creator of Red Bull. Their continual lies on television adverts have left many a small child with broken legs. Naturally I wasn't duped. Honest.

Adolf Hitler, who couldn't even grow a proper moustache. Also; started World War II.

Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Started World War I. Good moustache though.

5. ..damn
He's made me look like an idiot by promising a 5 point list, when I can only remember 4 of my original points.

Leave a comment, or read the 10 comments so far.

Unknown said...

I have a #5 for you: Mozart Kugel, those wretched marzipan touristy candies with Mozart's face all over them.

Anonymous said...

I really admire your contribution
Finally the truth.

zup said...

Thanks Ina for the contribution! I've created a group on Facebook, "I don't like Mozart". You are welcome there, please invite your friends as well. HUGS! Alessandro

Johnnyphx said...

Thanks. Disliking both Mozart and Haydn has been something of my dirty little secret, as I had an extensive music background. I really reserve most of my ire for the folks out there who worship Wolfie's shorts. Also, never mind that he had the original "stage mother" in his father, who paraded him all over Europe.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god.. oh my godd... thank you!!! i COMPLETELY agree with you... finally someone who said it out loud...

Anonymous said...

“Mozart encompasses the entire domain of musical creation, but I’ve got only the keyboard in my poor head.” –F.F.Chopin
“I’ve always counted myself amongst the greatest admirers of Mozart and shall remain so until my last breath” –L.V.Beethoven
“In Bach, Beethoven and Wagner we admire principally the depth and energy of the human mind; in Mozart, the divine instinct.” E.Grieg
“Give Mozart a fairy tale and he creates without effort an immortal masterpiece.” –Saint Seans
“I find consolation and rest in Mozart’s music, wherein he gives expression to that joy of life which was part of his sane and wholesome temperament.” –P.I.Tchaikovksy (he wrote “Mozartiana”)
Johnnyphx claims he has an “extensive music background”, well, how extensive is it? Compared to those of Beethoven, Chopin, Grieg, Ravel, Tchaikovksy… Face it, Mr. Jonnyphx the asshole…you don’t have enough musical background to know what these geniuses said of Mozart… Why did Ravel call Mozart, “God”? It’s a mystery to some people, especially those who don’t do any research.
And also – Ina – I don’t give a DAMN about your bullshit about Hitler’s moustache or whatever you’re trying to say.
No serious expert talks about Mozart having been able to compose an an early age, or the “Mozart effect” as a genuine explanation for Mozart’s greatness… I hate to say this - don’t rely on your “limited” musical insight… Humbly shut up and listen to Beethoven says about Mozart.
I also visited the nerdy, “I don’t like Mozart” group.
Years passed since I had my last visit and the number of fans stay around 150! ROFL
While the numbers of fans in the “Mozart” group increase by 150 everyday.
BEETHOVEN HIMSELF said to his pupil (J. B. Cramer, this time) of Mozart's C minor piano concerto K.491 (which Beethoven modelled his own C minor Op.37 after) "we shall NEVER be able to do anything like that." Adagio in C minor K.546 - presents some of the most daring uses of chromaticism of the century and foreshadows Tchaikovsky.
BEETHOVEN HIMSELF SAID, to his pupil Czerny, Mozart's A major Quartet K.464 (which Beethoven modelled his own A major quartet after) is so harmonically advanced that it was Mozart's way of telling the world "look what I can do when you're ready for it."
whatabout the “Dissonance” Quartet? As for Joseph Haydn, he said Mozart was the greatest composer known to him. Do some research, please, save us the trouble of teaching you everything...
Fantasia in C minor K.475, in it's innovative structure, was far ahead of its time, and foreshadowed Liszt's B minor sonata: google this - "the pillars of musical structure and emotional response". I play the piano and have played the piece many times.
and in the 4th movement of this symphony, Mozart uses atonal phrases, that uses every note on the chromatic scale except G, in the development - and foreshadows Berg.
As for his superb fugal writing, even the greatest critic, Rosner, finds the multi-subject (5-voiced) fugal ending of Symphony No.41 in C major IMPRESSIVE.
Mozart died at 35 – and please face the fact lesser people like you, Ina, can’t accomplish a tenth, in 100years, of what Mozart achieved in his last 10 years…

Anonymous said...

As for dillusional assholes like rawzee, I have nothing to say, simply because I don’t give a damn to whatever shit they talk about.
If you want to learn some serious knowledge in music, meet great pianists like Andras Schiff or conductor Charles Hazlewood. The moronic assholes who commented on your page, before me (such as rawzee, or cockroach or whatever, I don’t even care) only know how about different methods of eating and shitting.
“The tiny piano piece, Eine Kleine Gigue (K574) was written in Leipzig and is a homage to Bach. Try playing this to someone who is unfamiliar with it and ask them who the composer is. There will be some strange guesses, even Schönberg and Webern, because the music is so daringly modern. Another piano piece, the A minor Rondo (K 511) sounds like a forerunner of Chopin - no wonder Mozart was Chopin's idol. Both of these works will be heard at the recital I'll be giving at the Proms next month.” –Andras Schiff
Don’t make pathetic excuses like “I wrote it because I don’t like Mozart”. Well I don’t care if you don’t like Mozart, but keep mouth shut - because there are people out there who are FAR more talented, intelligent and have respect for Mozart, for a good reason.
Albert Einstein was also musically talented, (the first violinist of the orchestra he played in) and what did he say of Mozart?
Whatabout Goethe and Leonardo Bernstein?

Anonymous said...

"I owe very, very much to Mozart; and if one studies, for instance, the way in which I write for string quartet, then one cannot deny that I have learned this directly from Mozart. And I am proud of it!" -Arnold Schoenberg, the father of modern 12tone technique

Anonymous said...

Don’t make pathetic excuses like “I wrote it because I don’t like Mozart”. Well I don’t care if you don’t like Mozart, but keep mouth shut - because there are people out there who are FAR more talented, intelligent (than you)* and have respect for Mozart, for a good reason.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely agree. Mozart's music used the same recurring themes over and over again. He also was compositionally crap. His melodies were completely arbitrary and his arrangement of phrases were also arbitrary. The result is that not only did Mozart badly influence early and middle Beethoven bye he also is the cause music has become what it is today. Completely arbitrary, devoid of any spirituality, and lacking any sort of intellect.

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