Two things

1. Some medical advice



2. Some musical advice

Listen to Dizzee R4sc4l. I admit, he can't spell, his website is pink and he can never manage to get his hat on straight. On the other hand, I've been subjected repeatedly to a song of his in my housemate's car, entitled 'Fix Up, Look Sharp'.

I'm not entirely sure what fixing up is meant to mean, or how it relates to looking sharp, but I am impressed that he's got something very melodic and cool sounding out of one looped, sampled drumbeat and acapella vocals. I'm more impressed however, by some of the lyrics.

2.1 Possessions
Some rappers like to brag about the amount of cash they have stashed away. Others about the copious amounts of drugs and alcohol they possess. Others again wish to regale you with tales of the size of their female entourage. Not Dizzee. Dizzee R4sc4l thinks you'll be more impressed by the following:

"[I've got] Trainers by the truck load, trainers by the tonne"

Clearly a man to be reckoned with. Personally, I've only got three pairs, and I think that excessive.

2.2 Personality
Again - where his competitors may want you to know about how 'bad' they are, or let you know that they're violent and surly, Dizzee is a bit different. He wants you to know how sweet he is. Isn't that cute. And, sweet he is indeed:

"I stay sweet as a nut, sweet like Tropicana"

Some rappers may be scared to end a line with 'Tropicana', given the obvious lack of potential rhymes, but our boy isn't scared here. I'll let you listen to the song to hear his masterful scheme.

2.3 Pedigree
Finally, and this is what does it for me, Dizzee proves he really is a lad of superb breeding, fully suited to the rough scene of the ghetto he likes to rap about. Congratulations and awards are clearly in order for being the first rapper to reference this eminent British institution:

"Come to me with an attitude, come a cropper,
I'm old school like Happy Shopper"

Superb.