I hate everything...

...except the following:

iZ



Following the hip trend of not being made by apple, but still using a lowercase 'i', this is now a contender for most bizarre thing I own. And I own a hell of a lot of weird stuff. I'm still not entirely sure what iZ is, but it manages to self-karaoke over stuff such as Bob Dylan and Edwin Starr when I play them through my iPod - and sounds remarkably like them. Alternatively, you can pick from 7 beats, 7 leads and 7 rhythms, and a couple of other things, to create your own tunes, by manipulating various appendages. 'Flick my horn for fun' we're told. The best combination I've found so far is:

Maximum volume.
Funk drumbeat.
Funk rhythm section.
Funk lead section.

Giant Chess



Now, that picture's totally irrelevant, but I just found it really cute that it came up for a Google image search for 'chess world domination'. As may be fairly obvious, no decent images came up, and I can't be bothered making an awful one in MS Paint with a laptop touch...mouse...thing. Why has no-one named it? Unlike the red thing. So yeah, giant garden chess, just needs a few lasers and minions and away we go. Also, the iZ needs to be added to the chessboard somehow, we were thinking he takes up three squares at a time and can fly.

Children's Scooter



I don't really think I need to say much more, other than 'hold the chocolates' - it has a max weight of 50kg on it, fortunately I'm rather slim. Can't wait to get to work, this will be my only method of transport around Microsoft Campus.

--

The more astute of you may have noticed the time I'm writing this. However, so everyone, including the less observant of you can see how unhappy I am, let me point out that it's 9am - sleeping on a sleeping bag on a mattress with no pillow is not win. Also, I got all these for a very early birthday celebration, which I'll blog about when I feel slightly less like death.