18 Today!

I've had a bit of a scattered birthday this year, with the present-giving beginning in late June and continuing beyond the present. Although I do love, and did slightly miss, the feeling of having that one special day where everything was perfect and I was drowned in fun new things, I must say I'm rather enjoying this way of doing things too. In fact, I might see about converting to a Birthweek next year instead - it's always good to try out new ideas, and who knows, it might catch on, I could make a fortune if I'm the first in the market...

World domination aside, I got 18 of the 21 presents Lucie's bought, found or made for me this year (which, by the way guys, is 20 presents more than most of you got me, but fortunatley I'll accept late, postal gifts to make up the numbers, so get on eBay), and I'll be getting the other 3 on Friday when she comes to visit. I'm also assured that 'coming to visit' doesn't count as one of the presents, so I can expect even more goodies.
So, here's what I've got so far. Note that I'm writing this on the fly, will almost certainly forget which number ties to which present, and thereby incur Lu's wrath. Oh well:

1. A birthday card.

Which, obviously, no birthday would be complete without. I wonder if anyone's captioned this kitty in the spirit of the internet's current favourite meme

2. To be delivered on Friday.


3. 21 today badge.

Clearly inaccurate, which is great, because if there was one day in my life I would be guaranteed not to wear that badge, it would obviously be a couple of days ago. You know, that whole being different and anti-status quo things I've got going on. Note I'm obviously not anti-Status Quo, because those guys rock.

4. Glow in the dark stars.

Unlike normal stars, which actually only appear to glow in the dark, but actually probably burned out a hell of a long time ago. Also unlike normal stars in that you can touch them without being incinerated in a nuclear firestorm - which improves their bedroom decoration value, but makes them utterly useless for defending ourselves against the Germans. Not that I'm implying the Germans like invading people or anything...we just have to be on our guard, y'know.

5. Bubbles.

For some reason people have stopped buying me those little pots of bubbles with a wand that one can use to blow small, dissappointing bubbles that dissapear after a few seconds. Nope, no humorous analogies coming to mind, was rather hoping there would be there. Sorry. Hm, now I've gotten sidetracked and can't smoothly link into the fact that they don't buy them for me because I never actually get around to using them, and then link into telling you that these bubbles are of the bathwater variety. Damn that lack of analogy.

6. A useful turtle.

Easily differentiated from a useless turtle, in that this turtle is full of blue cleansing goodness. I've seen a lot of people get similar presents and think 'Aww, isn't that pretty', and never use them, leaving their bathrooms looking ridiculous with what are essentially soap containers lying around in decorative places. If I gave someone some shower gel for their birthday and they never used it, I'd be very insulted, so I'll be crushing this turtle to gain access to his gooey intestines at the first opportunity.

7. Butterfly clip.

Fool your friends! Amaze your neighbours! This one of a kind collectable butterfly stays exactly where you put it, lending a cheery air to your room, and allowing you to profess your superiority as butterfly tamer extraordinaire! Very cool.

8. Cat.

This guy is awesome, though, he hasn't actually told me his name yet, so is just known as 'cat' for now. He probably invalidates our tenancy agreement, due to the 'no pets' rule, but he's so cute that that's a price I'm willing to pay. Excels at guarding small presents from invisible ninja foes (need proof? Well, none of my presents have been stolen by invisible ninja foes, and he's been guarding them. QED) and lying around looking cute. Any naming suggestions are very welcome.

9. Munchies.

Munchies > white Malteasers > chocolate raisins > Minstrels > Malteasers > MilkyBar buttons > Dairy Milk buttons > Revels > Busted. Need I say more?

10. Purple dragon.

This guy came with a confusing tag which has led me to believe that he's actually some kind of transformer, but I'm a bit too scared of breaking him to manipulate various limbs to unlock the other 5 kinds of assorted dragon he clearly is. Again, really cool, gotta love Lu's taste in gifts :)

11. Balloon

Lu confusingly added a (u) after '11' on the wrapping of this one, in a cute little gesture that unfortunately got completely misinterpreted. In my slightly overexcited state, halfway through my big pile of presents, I read this as '11(a)' and was extremely vexed at not being able to find the present labelled '11(b)'. Once I'd rung Lucie to be told how bad I was at reading, I was able to actually open the present and discover the balloon inside, which is destined to be knocked around this house for a month or so, until it completely deflates and lies lifeless in a corner, like...nope, no good analogies there either, it's late, screw you.

12. Kitten money bank.

Some say that art imitates life, and others that life imitates art. This chicken/egg discussion could go on infinitely, if left unchecked, though I wonder what would happen to it if someone brought in this particular object. Is the artist perhaps claiming that there are those among us who regularly force small change through the head of newborn cats? Are there such people? Will this present perhaps lead people to believe that doing so is an acceptable action, and thereby bring about such a trend? If a Frenchman falls in a forest, does anyone care? Philosophy students take note, this gift will change the reasoning process as you know it.

13. Coming on Friday.

Yes, the 13th present is coming on Friday the 13th. I really hope it's not a large serrated knife in my face for having assuredly screwed up the order of the gifts in this list, despite having most of the wrapping paper in front of me. Did I mention how cool the paper is? Some of it's even handmade and hand-painted by Lu, and it's all varied.


14. Picture.

Wow. Possibly my new favourite possession - and yes, I'm including Guitar Hero 2 in that.

15. Glow in the dark duck.

The disturbing noose around this duck's neck lends it a slightly gothic air, which I find oddly attractive, in a 'the designer of this should probably be watched closely by local police' kind of way.

16. MilkyBar.

Anyone else hate how they ruined the MilkyBar kid adverts with that stupid new guy? Yep? Good. Pretty win present, as I was barely even aware these still existed.

17. Mobile.

Again, so much effort must have gone into this, certainly a keeper. I must say I am tempted to remove one of the CDs and run it to find the hidden message that's almost certainly not there.

18. Toothbrush.

So I turned up at Lucie's this Saturday, forlorn and homeless, and was greeted with neither pity nor sympathy, but instead outright mocking. In the course of one evening Lucie, her mother and her father all separately laughed at the state of my (admittedly, rather well used) toothbrush, which I'd left lying about their bathroom. I thought it was perfectly fine, but hopefully present #18 is going to save me from such future derision.

19. Kite.

Intriguing choice, as Lucie knows I am a complete failure at all kite related activities. And, when I say 'kite related activities', I mean flying the things, because that's the only one I've tried to date. Apparently this one is 'super-easy to fly', which just means that I'll feel even more of an idiot when it drifts limp and lifeless to the floor in front of a gaggle of 8 year old boys, time after time.

20. Card...things.



Awesomely put together though these things are, filled with all my favourite pictures, quotes and characters, I really have no idea what to call them, or what to do with them. I'm loath to put them away in a folder somewhere to rarely be looked at again, so my current alternatives of choice are either to use them as tablemats (probably not such a wise choice) or pin them up to a wall or summat. Any other ideas welcome, they're A4 laminated card.

21. Coming on Friday.

Apparently it's 'the best present of the lot', but I find that rather hard to believe. I'll let you know.


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Well, it's 2am, I have work tomorrow and I have to go take all the pictures you'll hopefully see above this footer when I get into work and upload this post in the morning. Woo for time management :(

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Man I'm bad at photgraphy.