You don't want to know what I've been Googling

So, through a series of interconnected clicks resulting from what was honestly a purely innocent search, I've managed to find my way into two of the nearly infinite pools of filth in the internet devoted to that most fabulous of things - naked women. The first set of links are pretty much SFW, unless you've got a very prudish boss.

First, we've got Bubbles 'n' Babes, a nude car washing service in Australia, where you can have four lovely ladies wash your car in bikinis, for a mere AU$45 (£18), or for the princely sum of AU$82 (£34) you can get an X-rated lap dance thrown in too. Naturally, the Aussies were very careful to keep this whole enterprise tasteful and environmentally friendly though, so the car wash is 'screened from the public and [uses] recycled water'.



There's already a vaguely similar facility available in the UK, also inventively named 'Bubbles 'n' Babes', as reported by The Sun - who else? It's a bit pricier here, £25 for four girls in bikinis and an extra £5 for the tops to come off. No comments were made as to the quality of the car washing though, clearly that'll require some investigation. Anyone got a dirty car?

The next set of links are NSFW. No exceptions.

Next up is a wonderful site I found, which reproduces EGM's 10 Naughtiest Games Of All Time - some hilarious reviews of some of the earlier attempts to provide interactive ladies via computers - which many users seem to think is pretty much the primary purpose of the modern computer, though I lost marks on my last exam for stating that...

Among my favourites on this site is Bubble Bath Babes from the NES, featuring the cringeworthy quote; "POP MY BUBBLE NOW I BET I CAN MAKE YOUR'S BURST!" - if that doesn't get you going, I don't know what will. However, the game comes with a caveat from the reviewer - "Surprisingly, games don't benefit as much as you might think from clumsy drawings of tits.". Budding games developers - you have been warned.

Fortunately however, the folks at EGM do know, I can't bring myself to paste any more links or comment further, but believe me when I say every possible sick and twisted perversion was taken into account when the NES and Atari 2600 games designers got together for their annual conferences. Just look through the 'top ten' games, if you have the stomach for it, and need proof.