The Great British Pint

The EU's had a lot of stupid ideas in the past, and quite often they've managed to annoy the people of Britain, which might explain the national reluctance to completely join in all the fun. That and the fact that the average Brit is inexplicably xenophobic (I'm no exception) and would rather die than associate themselves with the French.

The EU made a lot of progress winning over the English voters when they left wales off a map - but unfortunately forgot that the level of literacy in Wales has increased by leaps and bounds in recent times - 9/10 farmers can now make their mark on a voting slip.


_{...the UK Independence Party (Ukip), which wants Britain to pull out of the EU, welcomed the removal of Wales. - BBC News}

They've thrown all their hard progress away though, with recent attacks on the much beloved British pint. Brits could put up (grudgingly) with not being allowed to sell goods by weight in pounds alone, and being forced to used grammes. Our milk suddenly got measured in litres, but as the dairies cleverly kept the quantities the same, no-one minded too much, and everyone still talks about pints.

When they tried to make us ask for half a litre of beer though, that was one step too far, and so it's with pleasure that I can tell you The EU are backing down - and we can keep our antiquated, nonsensical measurements, all of them. Thanks to Anthony for letting me know about this one.

Under the covers however, they've slipped in a stealthy change to our pint, which is the first step on the road to having us all wear berets and carry around rings of onions. No longer shall we see the Crown on new British pints, instead we're being forced, despite a petition to the PM to have some crappy European symbol on glasses.

As such, the penalty for smashing a pint glass will no longer simply be being kicked out of the pub for the night - but instead a mob lynching up on the nearest lamp-post. You have been warned.