Ten Top Tips to get the best customer service

1) Take it to the top.

Here's a list of CEO's email addresses for many major corporations. Only use this once you've tried all the other options and given them a reasonable time (two weeks) to reply to your concerns. If you've still got no response, or you're getting back crap, then it's time to contact the guy at the top - the buck stops at his inbox.

Remember, be very polite, acknowledge that you're taking up his important time but be firm that you'd like something resolved. You probably don't need to go into too much detail with this mail - just enough to horrify that CEO that his customer services department is doing something wrong, enough to persuade him to get some of his top guys to get some other top guys on your case. No more call centres in Asia for you.

2) Say No To 0870.

There's another great web service, called Say No To 0870 which offers a list of geographical numbers that can be used as an alternative to the 0870 numbers companies insist on giving out. Now you can take advantage of your free minutes and call packages whilst bitching out the incompetent fools on the other end of the line.

3) Good manners go a long way.

There's a real person on the other end of your e-mail/letter/call, and they had absolutely nothing to do with all of the problems you've received. They're just as sick of the installation guys screwing things up as you are, but after months of receiving crap, they're just going to get defensive if you go on the offensive. If you produce a polite request for help, even going so far as to apologise for the tone of your letter (in that most British of fashions), then you'll gain their attention, sympathy and empathy, and are much more likely to get a personalised resolution, instead of one that's merely automated and script-based.

4) Look like a big-shot.

When you communicate, it's best to make yourself seem as professional as possible. If you work for a large corporation, use your corporate email address to send messages. Have your letters franked by a company instead of sticking on a stamp by hand, and print out the 'To:' labels. Possibly even get a 'secretary' to write your letters for you, and be sure to include a random string of digits as 'My reference' along with their references too. Use a formal letter template. All of the above, and your many other ingenious ideas around this theme, will show them that you're an important person, not to be trifled with, and they'll do their best to get your problems fixed, out of fear for their own jobs.

5) Keep accurate records.

Date every letter you write, and keep a copy for yourself. Make a note of every phone call, including who you spoke to, how long you had to wait, and what the progress of that call was. Back up every bit of email correspondence you receive. When it comes to a final solution (sic), then being able to present a stream of incompetence and wasted time, fully documented, is going to make things very impressive on your side of the argument, and increase the chances of compensation.

6) State your demands clearly and reasonably.

All too often I hear or see people get in contact with a company that's been giving them grief, and start the call with a long winded story about Steve not turning up and then some guy on the phone giving bad advice, as the person on the other end reads a magazine and waits for the complainer to get to the point. Instead, be clear from the outset what you want out of your communication, but make your demands practical.

You can exaggerate a little to give yourself a bartering position - but if the demands (£x off your next bill as compensation, a proper contract posted out within a week and full service restored by Tuesday) seem reasonable, they'll likely accept if you have a strong enough story. I tend to end every letter with a list of exactly what I want done - giving the person on the other end a well structured and defined action plan.

7) Don't lie.

When dealing with a large corporation, you'd be surprised at how thorough their records are - especially as they've gone off and made so many mistakes on your account. If you begin to lie about dates, amounts and correspondence, you're likely to get caught out, and once you are, you lose any hope of a leg to stand on. No longer will you have the sympathy of the folks in the complaints department, instead you'll meet corporate defensiveness via the party lines, and you'll be lucky to even get what you legally deserve, let alone anything on top of that.

8) Be communicable.

As soon as you start a complaints procedure, flood the company involved with all of your contact information at once. Personal mobile phone numbers, the full range of e-mail addresses, everything. You want to make sure that whenever anyone picks up your case and looks at it, they see a way of contacting you that's appropriate for the message and the hour, and then take that up. If you start getting spam or unwanted calls later on, it's merely the work of one clear, polite sentence to indicate you wish for your records to be removed.

9) Share your experiences (within reason).

When you've been having troubles, don't keep it to yourself - be sure that others know. I'm not saying here that you should spend every night out for the next month bitching and whining, but be sure that friends and strangers alike are aware of your issues. They may very well have some good advice or contacts within the company, and this can often lead to a speedy and satisfactory solution.

10) Try to get a dedicated contact on your case.

As soon as you receive a useful looking reply to your issue, then make a note of exactly who that response originated from. Don't be afraid whilst on the phone to ask for someone's name and extension number - as soon as you have this they are at your mercy and will do their utmost to resolve your problems. Whether that's due to the small bond of friendship you forge, or simple annoyance is irrelevant, it simply works.

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And remember guys, feedback doesn't always have to be negative. If someone's done a great job, over and above what you've expected, then always consider sending them a thank you note. Even better, consider getting in touch with the line manager to let them know how impressed you were - the good news will get back to the employee just the same, but you'll also have done wonders for their career - letters of recommendation are rare, especially in the telecommunications and utilities industries.

Happy hunting :)
Ian.

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